It's all in the Air.. blurph.

So this morning I found myself with a little time. I thought hey why don't I blog a little ditty.

Everyone around me is getting sick.. pretty much my sisters entire family, my mom and now me ( only a little) I really don't have what they have. I left work early yesterday with a sick stomach and a migrain. I have the feeling everyone at work thinks I was faking. That makes me mad. Just because I don't act like the world is ending doesn't mean i'm NOT sick. UGH. I feel a little better this morning. My stomach is still queezy. I think I'm really dehydrated.. that doesn't help. I could sleep for days, and days, and days. I really hope I can focus today and get some work done. I hope it's busy at the salon so I don't have time to sit and focus on me not feeling very well. What I hate more than anything is being sick and left alone to sit and sulk in it.. ugh. lol

Anyway. I'm trying to get our finances in order. I'm really trying! So my goal is to make all my meals and not go out to eat for a LONG TIME> this is of course easier said then done. I think I can do it though. The only thing right now I will get from the store is squirt for my tummy. Well I should go finish getting ready. Love to all who read this! Get better soon if you are sick and reading this!

Love.

21 Weeks

Pregnancy Post! yay! So I'm now 21 Weeks pregnant and doing pretty well! I'm getting bigger and trying to adjust to the new body changes. Jaden has started to get really active. I have to say a baby moving is really the strangest feeling ever! This morning I woke up and put my hand on my belly and said good morning jaden and he then created a huge tummy ripple. It was fun. Aaron could even see it! He got to feel jaden as well this morning. Well I'm already not one to be in a lot of pictures but I took a picture of me at 21 weeks. Other then that all has been going well. In a few weeks I'm going to have to do my glucose test I really hope it goes well. It should considering that I haven't had any problems so far. Wait I take that back the only thing that has been bothering me is my tailbone. UGH. My hips are separating and it's a little tough on me. People don't really notice I'm pregnant yet.. mostly b/c at work I wear an apron but when they find out they always comment the same thing. Wow, you have a long way to go yet. I'm freaking half way there. That is the only comment that i'm sick of hearing. ANYWAY... I need to get supper going. I just thought I'd put up a quick post!

Love.

Halloween

Here is a few pictures from a Halloween Pary

Maryio (mario's sister) & Luigi

Luigi on the Run!

Maryio on the Run!

Trying To Keep Going When My Tank Is Empty.

"If you dwell on how stressed you are, or how tired, or how sick or overwhelmed, you're done. You're dwelling on your empty tank. But if, on those depleted days, you consciously focus on your Lord's inexhaustible strength, your Lord's unlimited power, you will be able to keep driving when you thought you couldn't go another mile."

Today I was surfing online to find some answers. This quote really struck me. Aaron and I have been going through a rough few days financially. I don't know how any of this happend, but the fact is; it did. There is nothing we can do now. All we can do is recover. I've been feeling overwhelmed, tired, and stressed. None of these is very good for me considering I really need to take care of myself. You know, I pride myself in being a strong person. Sometimes I realize I can't do it alone. I've been feeling this is God's tough love attempt in bringing my attention back to where it should have been all this time. To Him. When things start piling up and I feel like I can't continue, I need to lean on my heavenly father for support. This is kind of random but tonight I was watching 'Cast Away'. Even though these struggles aren't just 'mine' somtimes I feel like they are. I feel alone in my struggling. I need to really be honest with myself and my husband about what goes on with everything. I can't handle everything, even though I really do try to.

The more time goes on and I start to see my growing belly, I realize that I need to start doing things for our FAMILY. In only a few months we are going to have another mouth to feed, another body to take care of, and another being to share in our struggles, and laughter. I know I can do a good job. I think I question myself. I know my husband has faith in me. I really need to have faith in myself. Before this little boy comes into our lives I really need to examine myself and what I need to improve on. It's just tough. Ugh. Sometimes I wish it where easier, I wish I was little again. I guess there comes a time when you need to stop relying on other people (i.e. parents) and grow up and take care of your own issues.

I need to do it.
I will do it.
I can do it.
I hope. :)

Love.

Wishing for the Best

I am not 18 weeks pregnant. I really hope my belly starts to get hard soon. I'm starting to feel flutters of baby bean. It's really a fun thing. Right now my emotions are up and down. I know this comes from hormones. My job doesn't always help either. I have been trying to control them and push my emotions into other forms. Instead of being mad or anyother emotion, I clean. Yesterday I cleaned for 6 hours. It's amazing what you think about in 6 hours worth of working like that.

Sunday I went to my nephew's dedication. He's such a lover and is so sweet. Ireally liked the sermon. My sisters church is a great church. I mean I really like it but it's not my perfect fit. Every time I got to my sisters church I end up tearing up over something and one point or another. I'm hoping to try out another church next sunday. I think right now it's what I really need to start relying on. I have many questions for life and myself right now. I'm convinced the reason I've been so confused about issues and things is because God is crying out to me. He's telling me that I need to slow down and pay more attention to him. I feel bad for people around me because I must look like a big ball of grump all the time. I've just felt disconnected from life lately. I feel like I'm merely a spectator of my life; instead, I need to be living it. I need that strong fellowship. I need a place I feel like I belong.

I've also been focusing on my responsibilities of my home life. I'm really trying to make more of an effort to do more around the house, to get more done and upkeep it a little better. It just be my 'nesting' overtaking me, but it's something I've been failing at for a while. I'm trying to really pay attention to our budget. I'm trying to make more homemade meals instead of grabbing the fastest thing. The problem isn't that I can't cook, I just don't feel like I have the time. The real fact is I really do have that time! I need to use every bit of time I can. Now that my schedule has changed at work I've got three days off in a row so I can really use that to my advantage to work on projects and such without having to leave them undone. I'm trying to make more of an effort. I feel like I need to be in a right place within me before I can fully complete what I need to. Right now I'm just attempting to make that effort. As far as Aaron goes it's all fine at home. I think we need a little bit of a date day or something, because I feel like he's hasn't been getting enough attention. Either that or I haven't been getting enough attention. Tomorrow is his day off so I'm hoping to make good use of it.

Well I would like to write more but my sister and mark will be back soon from their small group. I hope to update after our ultrasound on thursday.

Love.

My Day Today

Okay, well today is my day off. I decided I was going to rent a computer to finally gain internet access till ours got fixed. I hope Aaron doesn't get mad. He's not one for this kind of thing. But I made a decision. I'm a grown woman.. I can make decisions to. Wow.. i think he may throw a fit when he gets up... lol. Is it strange to like seeing your husband frustrated and angry sometimes? It kinda makes me giggle a little bit. Anywhoo. It took me like an hour to figure out how to access my own network. I have to idea what my freaking password was. JEEZ! Well, in the end I found a cord that works. YAY. Henc, why I'm able to write an update on here.

Job Update: My job has been stressfull. Like to the extream. I haven't been happy lately. I got a warning at work because I'm not making my comission on a regular basis like I should be. It's tough. I really don't think I'm a comission type person. They are going to check my comission on the 15 and then again at the end of the month. If I dont' make the 15 and don't make the end of the month, I could be fired. BUT, if I make the 15th and not the end of the month or visa versa, my 'termination date' would be extended another set. That would keep up till I was consistantly making comission. Part of me wants to be fired. The other part is freaking out. I've never had any remote cause for anyone to let me go. It stresses me out. All this stressing is worring people around me. They are worried because all of this stressing and me being pregnant.. yadda yadda. I think if I was fired it might be a good thing. It would give me cause to try again. Maybe get into the Theater side of things like i've been wanting to. I'm only really working in a salon for my experience. I know I'm meant for bigger things. I think this is really the time to move. I just hope and pray that this is what I'm suppose to do.

Preggers update:
I'm now 17 weeks. I'm feeling great. I know I could feel the baby soon within the next few weeks. I thought i felt a ripple along my lower stomach. Was that the baby? It could have been.
My last doctors apointment went really well! I'm happy that all of my tests went great. We will be having an ultrasound soon I think. I'm hoping that we will be able to tell what the baby is! I want to know already. It's hard waiting. I've really always dreamed in girl view. So I'm hoping thats a sign. I think I might be sad if it's a boy.. but if its a boy maybe Sawyer and he could get together and date and be married one day! hehe lesley.

Well, not much else to say at the moment except I'm really excited to have internet right now!

love.

Peace and Sanity

Okay, So I'm really trying to get use to this being pregnant thing. Hormonal breakdowns are no fun.. and the worst part is there really is nothing wrong. I'm praying that I cana mellow out a little bit at least. Since quitting Kohls I've been able to really start cleaning and working on our apartment. I really love having some down time now. The salon has been a little stressful. I've been having trouble making commission. I really hope that picks up soon. I've orderd my own business cards to pass out to people with my name and hours. So I really hope that helps.

Today I am babysitting my two nephews. I love them to death. However, I'm pretty sure this is birth control for anyone thinking of having two children this close in age! Levi, who is 8 weeks, has been having some tummy issues. Well he's been crabby so I finally got him to take a bottle. Who knew that almost at the end of that bottle it's contents would end in projectile vomit all over him and myself. Wow. Simon, who is now 21 months, is getting more responsible. I'm not giving him crayons anytime soon. For him Blues clues is like the ONLY thing on tv. It's kinda cute watching him dance to the opening and closing credits.

Aaron hung out with me this morning while watching the boys. Now he will be napping before work while I do a second round with the tots. I'm hoping tonight goes a little better than this morning, cuz I'm kinda tired. (off the subject) I'm watching my sisters tv and the only channel she is getting right now is this guy making a cabinet. I wish I could make one.

Well I think Levi might be waking up so I'm gonna go check on him. It was nice to get to write a little bit. Humm... Maybe I can watch some of Pride and Predjudice before Simon wakes up! Whoopie. Have a great night.

Love.

how do i work this thing???

my wife wants me to do this blog thing so i guess i will try. i know nothing about "blogging" and my typing will drive you crazy because im to lazy to figure out where the punctuation buttons are on the keyboard thing. thats about all i have to say today

Morning Off

Today I've managed to update this blog. Life has left both Aaron and I really busy. We are trying to get ready for a camping trip. Aaron has never been camping, but is super excited about going. We successfully pitched his first tent. It was in my sisters yard. I think it will be a fun trip. We are taking another couple with us. It is quite funny that it's the girls on this trip that have been camping and not the boys. I'm hoping to try to get everything together before we go. I HOPE. This morning I put up a few new pictures in our apartment. here are a couple pictures.

We put the black and white ones in the bathroom. Our bathroom theme is Old Paris. The color scheme is to be decided. The kitchen is vinyard themed. The wine bottle pictures are pretty much the color scheme. I'm really excited about them! I'm happy just to get them up. I just added new curtains to the living room recenty.

I know that I always said I wouldn't invest too much into this apartment, but it's happend. I really am just trying to make the best of living in a small place. I hope one day we can move somewhere new. We will see!

Last little note. Our cat Bachi has recently learned if he rubbs his head on the bathroom faucet that we will turn it on for him to drink fresh cold water. I finaly caught a picture of him in the act.HA HA. Just seeing this picture makes me laugh! Well I better go and get some more things done! Let's hope that I can accomplish more today!
Love.

I Went To the Chapel and Got Married

So the wedding is long gone and I have to say it went really well. The day

was relaxing, enjoyable, and many other things. It wasn't fun not seeing

Aaron all day but... I'm going to be with him for the rest of my life so I

guess a couple hours of time away couldn't hurt. The morning started out

with my mom in panic, because there were not enough people to help decorate the reception hall

right away. More and more showed up as the morning went on so it was fine. I left to get ready

while the rest of my family finished up decorating.

That picture was at the reception. I think I look really tired by that time. We crashed

early! Here ------> is a picture of our cake. I thought it looked super cute! Vickie from Hy-vee

did an amazing job! On top of the cake was Jack and sally from the "Nightmare Before Christmas."

You know the whole day went great. I had fun with my wedding party. I

really enjoyed watching everyone have a good time. And I really liked

seeing Aaron really dance for the first time in my life. Haha.. we really are

two peas in a little pod. Maybe it's a long pod because Aaron is tall. Whatever. Here is my first

real update in a while. I hope to get some time to do more!

Love.

You are as sick as the Secret's you keep...

I want this weekend to be positive. Today hasn't been. I go on facebook and see 'are married'. I read a news paper article that confirmed what I knew was true. My friends from high school were getting married. Correction. Got. I'm sorry she thought she could lie and not realize that I would figure out this tangled web she created. Don't tell me your moving him down to KC when you really got married and are on a honeymoon. It wouldn't have been a big deal if you would have just told me. Gosh, I really don't think I've been this upset in a really long time. This weekend is my weekend to be happy. I just can't believe she would do that. It just shows where her allegance is. I bet she didn't even show him the invite. I can't even stand to talk about it.
peace.

Love.

Tough Road Keeps on Getting Longer

So this past weekend has been the toughest one in a long time. Friday night I had to go help at the Van Dorn Hair Masters. It was fine I really enjoyed no being at my store fora while. Well turns out they needed help again on saturday.. well I went there from 9 to 11am then went back to my store and worked 11:15 till 5:30. The morning was awesome. As soon as I got back to my store it was like bitchy central. There is a girl whom I work with... well she just had something stuck up her butt all day. Needless to say I was stressed out to the max. On top of that day it was updo's all day and then after work I went to kohls to work till about 11pm. It was an all over bad bad day.
Today I worked at kohls again. The best part about my day was getting to sleep in! Ahhh it was nice. It just went downhill from there. I don't get a day off till thursday so I'm really dreading the next few days. Oh, and I've been really having an issue with a "friend" who is getting married soon. I just found out they can't make it to the wedding. At this point I could care less if she comes, but she's marrying my best friend from high school..... and I'm Really dissapointed he won't be there. I hope he's happy in his decision to marry her. If they are happy, thats all that matters. He may not have friends by the end of it. It's just been a bad few days.
You know all this stinks. I should be happy and excited for my wedding, but all of this is stressing me out!!! Shouldn't I be Stressing over my wedding? I really hope these next days get better. I really need a break. I can't take all this right now. I'm trying to focus on being married!
Please Pray that my days get calmer, and that I can gain focus for the days to come.

Love.

Breana

Satin Robe, and the Next Chapter.

Today I've realized there is more to life than just the present. It's not about how your key board refuses to type every 20th key, or the fact that everyone you work with doesn't do half of what you do but gets paid more... its about more than that.
I can't sit and wait for the future or destiny to find me. I can't. I cannot sit and wait. I'm not your average person to follow the book. Who decided there was a book. It's my life, I'm the author so you better be ready to live life. I think too long I've waited for friends to come to me. I'm not one to go out all the time. I'm more than content to stay around the house and sip coffee while watching my cat peer out the window at the rain drops.
In about 19 days I start the next chapter in my life. So many people don't even get their next chapter. Their books end in a hospital, at their home, off the roof of a shed... why am I not living the fullest until it's my books turn to write it's final page? I want to be so many things. I want to be that perfect house wife, I want to be the powerful working woman my mother is, I want to be a mother. God has everything decided. I want to let him lead. My problem is, I haven't. I'm so excited to see whats going to happen.
Sometimes I wish my life was a musical. Let me tell you my theme song would be "Don't Rain on my Parade" another song would be " For Good" from Wicked. Gosh... Music... ahhhh... Well it's time I head to bed.. Big day tomorrow.

Love.

Flapper Shower

Today was my first wedding show. I will say it was super fun! I was kind of bummed that my bridesmaid brandi couldn't come. She said she was 'sick' but, I think she just didn't want to drive. I was also kind of dissapointed my friend Alicia didn't even text me to say 'hey I cant come.' I love her to death, but sometimes its frustrating. Thats what happens with friends. I'm sure there was a reason.

Over all the people who really mtter to me came and thats what counts. It was a good time, and I got some really stinking cute stuff. I hope my family shower is fun next weekend! Well, I should get to bed... I do have to work tomorrow... oh.. and tan! hehe I'm wearing white pants next weekend.. I need to look good.

LOVE.

Soon To Be

Tomorrow is the official four week mark. Four weeks until I'm married. Wow, that is and increddible thought. I've been so blessed. I've finally had a little time to sit and reflect on this. So far everything has been relatively easy. My first wedding shower is this weekend... and WOW am I excited. My favorite people are planning it, so I know it will be good. It is suppose to be flapper and intimates party. I'm excited. My mom was talking about how she hopes I like her gift. I know what she got my sister, I hope it's a 'little more sexy' than hers was. But you know, my mom and I are pretty similiar so I'm sure it will be fine.

So I was thinking today, I hope everything is getting done. I HOPE. haha. It hasn't really set in that I'm going to be married soon. I think the one thing I want to do on my wedding is laugh. I really don't want tears! I really don't have much to say today except my shoes look like the picture above! I got them today. They are a little big, but I think they will work well! hehe pink chucks. OH! and my nephew finally fits into his chucks. That makes me happy. ANYWAY.... I have some ice cream comming my way.

ps mini blog.... -) I'm so excited for my best friend Lesley and her husband. I'm happy that they are blessed to be expecting a little girl !! She is going to be just as beautiful as her mother! I can't wait to see her face!

LOVE.

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Today was a pretty good day. This morning I went with Aaron to the post office. I got a note to come pick up an envelope, which contained his wedding band. I'm really excited for it! He tried it on and it looked pretty sweet!

I worked most of the day. Let me tell you old cashiers are a pain in the ass. When there are two ppl in your line and no others comming up, you really do not need to call me for all additional. SERIOUSLY. I must have gone up there about my entire two hours I had the walkie. Jeez. It's amazing as well what people will try to do to get a lower price. Just because it seems like you don't speak english, you think you can pull a fast one... guess what!?! You , Cant. Thank you. On the plus side of work it went pretty fast. I don't mind it so much when the day flies by. I have Tuesday off so I will try to enjoy it as much as possible.

I was suppose to wait and see about getting my hair done after work today but bill was booked. We have been trying to find time to do it oh since Feb. I mean there were plenty of times we really could have done it. BUT I secretly think Bill really doesn't want to do it. ANYWAY... we are doing it in the morning which is kinda a hassle for me..... but whatever.

So tuesday is going to be a busy day because I get my hair done around nine, and then we look at a house about 11. Then we have a lot of errands to do. Not to mention, our house needs some seriousl cleaning. I wish that I had the ambition to clean this up every day, but in all honesty ITS TOUGH. I work two jobs. I don't get home till late because I work the entire day. I really don't have time to clean all that much. Plus it's tough because Aaron doesn't allways pitch in. Now, don't get me wrong he will if I ask him to. BUT, he will complain the whole time. It's like jeez, I know it sucks to clean the house but just help me out.

I was working on the last of my invitations tonight and realized there were a couple I didn't mail originally because I didn't have a part of their name or address. Now I mentioned this to aaron and he said 'It should have been done right in the first place'. OKAY. This comment is in bad territory. First, I have a lot to accomplish in a day, and you know that whole week I had been up late working on all of that wedding stuff. Second, I knew it had to get done, I just hadn't gotten the time to do it! I do have two jobs and really no days off. I really didn't respond because it would have been an argument about something stupid. I may just bring it up later.

I think my issue lately is I just don't feel appreciated for the work I put into things and for the things I do. I'm trying as hard as I can. I know I have a tendancy to forget things, but everyone does. I don't have time for myself right now, and people expect the world from me. Where is my world? I mean right now the wedding is getting closer. I appreciate EVERYTHING everyone is doing to help us get ready! I'm happy to have two matrons of honor to help out. My sister has been in her own world lately. idk. She has a lot on her plate and I feel guilty for asking her to do something for the wedding. At the same time I want to be like, 'hey it's my wedding, can you pay a little attention to me' When it was her wedding we were ALL WEDDING ALL THE TIME. I mean is it soo much to ask? I really feel selfish for saying that because I do know it's rough for her having so much on her plate, and her spouse doesn't really help clean that plate. ( if you know what I mean) My brother - in- law really doesn't help her out all that much. I have yet to understand it. Aaron helps me when he can i guess, and sometimes without asking. I guess I will just have to wait for the day of the wedding to have my day. lol. It's gonna be crazy!

Okay, as far as career wise, I've been looking into theater jobs around nebraska. Now, there really aren't much. But I did find that the Omaha Theater Company will hire on makeup and hair for the shows. I really need somthing more. Its tough because I know what I need and I know what I want to do. I just can't find it and don't know how to find it. Please Pray that I can find it.

I think this is enough for now. I've really blogged to much tonight, it's about 1:27 in the morning and I should really be off to bed.

Love.

Just Piddling Around

So today I came across looking into what my name meant and random things this is my meaning:


Breana
Meaning: Its source is a Gaelic expression meaning "Exalted and high minded."

Maybe that explains my mentality when I was a child... hum it's interesting how sometimes your meaning really lives up to your personality traits.

Here is Aarons:

Aaron
Meaning: Its source is har-on, a Hebrew name meaning "Mountain of strength."

I could really see that it him. Gosh this was a fun game! Just thought it was a great thought for the day.

Love

Wedding Update

Wedding-

The main part going on right now is invitations. They have been going fine, a couple of glitches and spelling issues, reprinting, but it's all been okay. Last night I stayed up until about one in the morning cutting all of the paper out. Wow, I'm really sure I will never want to do that again. gosh. lol. In the end I think it will be all worth it.

So, all through this wedding process we haven't had many problems. My mother informed me that we can't decorated the night before, SOOO now we have to figure out what we are going to do.

Well aaron needs to go to bed so it's time to go.

love

Defying Gravity

There are many things in my life I really love. Dancing. Singing. Acting. Performing. Haircutting. Some things I've done all through my years. Right now I just feel like I need to perform. I haven't for so long. Have you ever felt something in the pit of your stomach? Like you know it's there but just can't figure it out?

I think right now I need to release some creative energy. I've been watching Kerry Ellis on youtube. She was Elphaba in ' Wicked'. I came across her rock version of 'Defying Gravity'. Oh man, if you are any fan of that musical she KILLS IT. She is amazing. I only hope to be half that great! I think it's really gotten me thinking.....

I need to do something greater with my life. Just being a hairstylist isn't enough. Just going to the same job every day just isn't enough. I need more. I need to push on. I know I need this job to earn money and everything, but why not push for something I love. I really hope that after all my wedding stuff gets done, that I can finally focus on my career. Who knows where it will lead.

I was recently thinking of taking some drawing classes to work on my artistic ability. Who knows, maybe I could actually be good!.... okay, okay, I've always had the ability, I've just never trained it. I think now it's about time to start. I feel like there is a giant dark oak door down the hall from me. I stare at it every day as I pass. The door just pleads to be opened. I think now it's time to step forward once again! First it was rejuvenating myself after high school and getting my life back to normal, then it was making the decision to switch college's, then it is this whole marriage thing, and now I think it's my career. I really need to stop politely knocking on doors, I need to slam them down and tell them bitches to get out of my way, cuz I'm comming through.

You know sometimes I think wow, how about we take a break today... then I realize I'm bored and I know exactly why I cannot do that. I probably should take a break but there are people who are getting their foot in the door that I'm suppose to be slaming down.



The only thing now is to figure out how.




.................To be continued............................................................................................................................


love.

25 Random Things About Me

1. Over the years I've learned big risk equals big reward. And you should do what YOU want to do and what makes you happy.
2. Ice cream is good at any hour of the day, day of the week, week of a month, or month of a year.
3. I am a serios animal lover. One of the saddest days of my life was when I ran over a dog. :(
4. I cry at any funeral, it doesn't matter if I knew the person or not. Real life or Not.
5. I love the smell of chlorine at 5 am and the look of a smooth pool of water before the firsst person jumps in.
6. I am a certified pack rat.
7. I feel the need to organize EVERYTHING and to put everything in it's own place. I , however, lackthe ambition to complete it.
8. I am a spontanious cleaner. When I feel the ambition to clean I have to do it now or I get frustrated.(unfortunately, this usually happens really late at night when I should be in bed)
9. I will always love the feeling of freshly washed bedding and a perfectly made bed.
10. I love to sing infront of a HUGE audience, but I still can't practise infront of my own mother.
11. I hate Karaoke.
12. My favorite memories where sitting on top, in, or around my yellow geo tracker.
13. When I road trip I click patterns with my teeth ( don't ask it's hard to explain)
14. I count EVERYTHING. (number of bricks on a wall, number of tiles, different patterns i see ect.)
15. If I had not met my husband to be I would not be having as much fun in life as I do today.
16. I have a cat that thinks he is human.
17. I've flashed most of San Antonio
18. I feel that a budget is a good idea that I can never seem to follow.
19. I can make someones hair burn and sizzle like bacon if I wanted to or turn it to mush.
20. I believe gas is a natural part of life. (which my fiance reminds me of everytime his bum is in my direction)
21. My favorite flavoring of anything is cherry.
22. I am a serious preplanner
23. My sister and I may look and sound similar but we are to WAY different people ( minus our awesome humor and sarcasm)
24. I can usually act calm in any situation but in reality on the inside I'm screaming bloody murder.
25. I'm pretty sure I've had more spankings from my parents than my siblings combine and then some.

Learning to Be Okay With It

So I finally started my 'Big Girl Job'. It's going well, I've learned that there are things I still have to learn and I hate that feeling. I've come to realize that I just need to be okay with it and learn as I go. I work with four other people. Lorena: she is not married and has a little girl who is 4 she's been with this guy since i don't know when. But she's okay with that. They all have a great relationship. Bill: A 30 year old gay man whom brings history and antiques into everything he does. He absolutely loves to collect old things. I LOVE IT. Megan: Kind of catty, she has a 4 1/2 year old boy who is a cute little wrestler. She's 22. She's dating a guy who's mom just died of a heart attack at 48. let's just say Megan isn't all that upset about it. Jamie: just had a baby with a black man who treats her horribly and she doesn't see it. Lets just say she's baby mamma number 4. That's all that need be said. She is best friends with Megan and she can be nice.

I really don't know how I will fit in but we will see.

The wedding plans are going well. We still don't have a photographer.. Bummer. So I PRAY I will find one soon. I'm on a library computer with this crazy librarian reading a cat in the hat book to these kids. He's doing the voices and everything... ahh to be that young again. I only have 9 minuets left so I will go. I hope to keep this updadted a little more! We will see. OH PS. I'm getting another nephew!!! WHOOPIE. There is still hope for me to have the first girl!

Love.