Trying To Keep Going When My Tank Is Empty.

"If you dwell on how stressed you are, or how tired, or how sick or overwhelmed, you're done. You're dwelling on your empty tank. But if, on those depleted days, you consciously focus on your Lord's inexhaustible strength, your Lord's unlimited power, you will be able to keep driving when you thought you couldn't go another mile."

Today I was surfing online to find some answers. This quote really struck me. Aaron and I have been going through a rough few days financially. I don't know how any of this happend, but the fact is; it did. There is nothing we can do now. All we can do is recover. I've been feeling overwhelmed, tired, and stressed. None of these is very good for me considering I really need to take care of myself. You know, I pride myself in being a strong person. Sometimes I realize I can't do it alone. I've been feeling this is God's tough love attempt in bringing my attention back to where it should have been all this time. To Him. When things start piling up and I feel like I can't continue, I need to lean on my heavenly father for support. This is kind of random but tonight I was watching 'Cast Away'. Even though these struggles aren't just 'mine' somtimes I feel like they are. I feel alone in my struggling. I need to really be honest with myself and my husband about what goes on with everything. I can't handle everything, even though I really do try to.

The more time goes on and I start to see my growing belly, I realize that I need to start doing things for our FAMILY. In only a few months we are going to have another mouth to feed, another body to take care of, and another being to share in our struggles, and laughter. I know I can do a good job. I think I question myself. I know my husband has faith in me. I really need to have faith in myself. Before this little boy comes into our lives I really need to examine myself and what I need to improve on. It's just tough. Ugh. Sometimes I wish it where easier, I wish I was little again. I guess there comes a time when you need to stop relying on other people (i.e. parents) and grow up and take care of your own issues.

I need to do it.
I will do it.
I can do it.
I hope. :)

Love.